Pain is part of Life. </3
The relationship is over but the memories are everywhere.
I have a suitcase of his stuff.
Cards he made me.
Pictures we took.
His clothes he left here.
Songs that are “Our” songs.
Drawings on my wall. His signature and even a random game of tic-tac toe.
A quad trail we made together behind my house. Thats not going away for a while.
The bracelet with our names on it.
The stuffed bunny he got me for Easter in 2011.
The stuffed animal he got me for my birthday.
The weekends that are no longer going to be spent with him.
No one to call at two in the morning when I need someone to be with.
Even though there were so many good things, there were bad things too.
Violence and threats.
Put down’s and degrading assumptions.
The hours of being ignored.
Yelled at for nothing.
He helped me though.
Saved me from going down a bad path.
Brought me back up to the surface and lifted me even higher.
He protected me and helped me heal.
He fought for me.
He never gave up.
The hardest part of it all is that it was my choice to say goodbye. I can’t have him back. I need to let him go.
Pain is part of life. Before you find true love, you need to be broken into. The storm before the sun. Work before reward. <3 Life. Shit happens, but so does happiness.
I wish I could reach up to Heaven and hold you one more time. I wish I could be with you for one more day, an hour, a moment even.
I just want to be with you again.
Tristan <3
I made this video for Tristan. <3
He was so happy. So content with everything. He brought joy and countless smiles to everyone around him. Such an Angel.
I feel so responcible though. For the pain and suffering of his family and friends. His twin especially. Sharing the same birthday as a brother who has passed away. The birthday song was Tristans favourite song too.
There will always be the Would have, Could have and, Should have surrounding his death but whats done is done and what happened has happened. For better or worse.
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The fact that my mom was drunk that night and that my parents were planning a divorce made the night I was responcible for the death Tristan that much more unbarable. The fact that my friends stopped by and one got offended by some small comment I made, actually made me feel better. It made me realize that at least I didn’t let the little things bother me….then my mom called me inside and I had to face the reality that Tristan was in the hospital in full cardiac arrest, that I was still waiting on the call which would tell me the fate of Tristan. I went inside with my drunken mother and waited. Then we got the call. The pain I felt made me numb. I ran out of my house and cried till I couldnt breath.
He was only four years old…..so young. =/
REST IN PEACE TRISTAN <3
this is the young girl who got raped and then put into a bin a few days ago, i know most of you will probably go down to look at the rest of the things on your Dash because you “to cool” but if you have a heart you would repost this to show some respect for this young beautiful girl who suffered and then was killed. May she rest in peace † Jorely Rivera ♥
